Why Bad Style Will Keep You Celibate in Latin America

Change the way you dress, and your world changes.

I realised this one day while I was standing outside a high-end mall in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.

I was wearing a dark-blue pinstripe blazer and a sky-blue button down – both fresh from the dry cleaners that afternoon. I was wearing a pair of brown Allen Edmonds shoes – just polished by the guy who is always hustling on the street corner. To jazz up my blazer I was wearing a white pocket square.

Standing outside that mall, looking sharp and waiting for my date, I realised the importance of style. My life has never been the same since.

My date was late (Dominican girl – no surprise) so I was standing at the entrance for roughly 30 minutes. In that time I was approached 3 times.

Attracting Bees with Honey

First, a thick girl who was dressed like she was getting off work approached me and started talking about kids begging for money on the streets. After 2 minutes of lamenting about homelessness in Santo Domingo, she invited me to go drink a coffee with her. I said I couldn’t because I was waiting for somebody. So she insisted I take her number.

5 minutes later, a police chief approached and asked me where I was from. After giving him a quick backstory, he invited me to the police department annual ball upstairs in the Hard Rock cafe. When I told him I had a date, he gave me his number and told me to give him a call if I ever got in trouble with the law in the Dominican Republic.

After that, a guy approached me and asked if I was “Juan the engineer.”

Not sure what that was about.

Then my date arrived. She looked like Rhianna with 15 extra pounds. Anyway, since I don’t often dress as sharply as I did that night, the experience made me realise that the world is easier and people treat you differently when you dress well.

This is doubly true for Latin America.

The Most Superficial Continent in the World

Latin American countries are some of the most superficial cultures in the world. Where do you think the plastic surgery capitals of the world are? Latin America.

Now, I’m not telling you to go out and get plastic surgery, just get the best clothes you can afford before you visit.

In the USA, you can be the hot/young guy with jacked arms wearing a baseball cap and tank top – you’ll still get hot girls.

Sugar Daddies

But here’s the problem: the baseball caps and tank tops make you look either YOUNG or TOURISTY. Both are unattractive in Latin America. 

You don’t want to look young in most Latin countries – it’s a disadvantage. Lots of girls on Latin American Cupid set their age preferences above 35 and won’t even reply to messages from young guys.

Socio-economic circumstances being what they are: Girls in the USA and Europe have their own jobs so they’re looking for guys that can give them the best genes. Latin girls are looking for financial stability.

A good-looking guy dressed like a teenager will kill it in the USA. But an average-looking guy dressed like a politician will kill it in Latin America.

Go for the older-guy-who-has-his-shit-together look. That means dressing older and smarter. An older man with a younger women relationships are more tolerated in Latin America than in the west.

What to Wear in Latin America

How does an older guy rich guy dress?

  • An unlined, linen sports jacket in blue
  • An oxford blue button down (or pink even)
  • A pair of nice-fitting khakis or chinos
  • A pair of nice brown shoes or chukka boots

Think Brooks Brothers or Beckett & Robb with a classic fit.

You get the idea.

Of course, it can get too hot to suit up in in Cali, Medellin, Santo Domingo, Havana and Panama City, so what should you wear?

  1. Go with a linen shirt (instead of a polo shirt or t-shirt) with the sleeves rolled up to stay cool
  2. Wear Khaki pants or shorts and boat shoes sans socks

The good news is that you can get bespoke clothing much cheaper in cities like Bogota compared to the U.S.

Dress sharp and prepared to get eye-fucked like a woman walking past a construction site.

I’ll share one last secret with you: customer service is non-existent in Latin America…

except when you’re dressed like you have money.

Happy shopping,
– El Conquistador